I love my family. I am so thankful to be the mother of my three children and the wife of my husband. I am blessed with lots of people and family in our lives. My husband and I have been able to work things out so I could come home from work and focus on our family. Yes, times can be hard and we have our fair share of challenges. Raising little human beings to become the best they can be is a big task in itself, then you add their personal challenges on top of that and ….
I used to try to be that “perfect” mom, I can do it all. I was always doing, and doing to the max, striving for the top of everything. It was exhausting! I had a lot of “should be” moments. “I should be more patient”, “I should be volunteering more”, “I should be doing something more” it could be never ending. I was striving for something that was never really attainable, the “Pinterest Perfect Life“. This usually consisted of trying for the best birthday and dinner parties, the well put together “shared snack at preschool”, the creative and beautiful back to school gifts (that took hours): the list could go on.
I’m not saying that I don’t want things in life to be good, of course I do, but I have changed my perspective. There are so many quotes and inspirational sayings flooding the internet about perfection and how the imperfect is the reality.
Forgiveness has been the best medicine that I could have prescribed myself. It has been so freeing. I know that I am doing my best and have forgiven myself for the mistakes that I make. Actually, I know I’m going to make them and I’m OK with that.
Before I was doing all of the time, doing for others, trying to keep up with everything, that I actually forgot to do for myself. I was tired, sometimes grumpy and feeling less than. It’s amazing when you put yourself as a priority how much things change around you. I started to see the value in putting myself first. I can actually do more for others. I have become a better mom, wife and friend just by doing a bit for me first. Self care is not selfish. In order for me to be present and at my best, I need to recharge and fill up so I can share with others.
As parents, it feels as though we are always on. We are problem solvers, taxi drivers, educators, caregivers, housekeepers, referees, partners and so on.
I have come to realize that self care is one of the most important things I can do, not only for myself, but for the people in my life too.
The moments I take for myself have become valuable to me. Everyone will have a different way that they recharge and different self care strategies, but for me I enjoy just being me. I like quiet moments where I don’t have to answer anything (phones, questions, the door etc.) So I take those moments when I can, even if it’s in the middle of the night when everyone is sleeping.
I have become a much healthier person. I eat better and exercise. I am very social too, so going to a class to exercise really helps my body and my mind. It also helps me to have a time set aside for me. Everyone knows that I’m out, it’s on the calendar and it’s mine.
I enjoy reading books and watching movies. If the kids are at an event, I might arrive early for pick up and read in the car before heading in to get them. I go to movies with my family and sometimes I go just with a friend.
I also have a person, outside of my husband. It is so nice to have someone that you can talk to, complain to, unload the crazy and share with and not have to worry about any judgements. I am so thankful to have a person.
I do take moments to myself when I’m with the kids and have a sign to let the kids know that, unless there is a true emergency, I’m not available. We all need time outs, even if it’s just for 15 minutes. It good for the kids to see the importance of self care, setting limits and me looking after myself. It will teach them to set their own limits later in life and to take time if they need it.
I’d love to hear from you and what you do for self care, please feel free to leave a comment below or to send me a message.